1.6.13

Confessions of a dancefloor in Patras (with blood sweat and tears optional)

Sometimes I can't understand myself, really. But what I can understand the least are some others. The thing that I like less in this world, I think, is uncertainty. I know it's inevitable. But I hate it the most in cases where it could be otherwise. I hate not knowing how to react when I see things I'd rather not. It's the natural course of things, I know. But the uncertainty drives me nuts. And I don't want to react passively to it again. Not drinking myself to despair. Someone wise would ask me "why still?why are you still upset over him?". I'm not sure myself but I mostly blame it on uncertainty. Another thing I hate in this world is separating with someone and losing them completely. Because it's absurd to think that, from one day to another the feeling of love (I emphasize, love, not passion) is lost. But I've come to accept that. If I can no longer be part of your life, than so be it. I've come to the altruist state to be able to say "I just want you to be happy, either I'm in your life or not" and mean it. But it's not even like this. I know nothing, I'm sure of nothing. If we have to separate places and say that we're going to exchange a rational hello on the few times we're together, then so be it. If we can have a normal (and that's a big word) relationship where we can talk from time to time and be able to meet each other on the road with that someone new and be able to say hello like decent human beings, then so be it. I just hate in betweens. And I'd love to resolve that before I leave this town for good, because otherwise it'll just be "Go to hell, I won't ever see you again and I'm happy for that".



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